My Story
Of course the basics about me you have already read on the home page, my age, my location and the fact that I am a non-custodial mother. These are what most people know. You are probably wondering about what makes me, me. What makes me the Heathen I am today, why I feel as I do about the issues I do, why I am so passionate about them. So I will take you back to the beginning how I came to Heathenry and what has brought me to where I am today. If you are looking for juicy tidbits you are most likely going to be disappointed. But if you are looking at what makes me who and what I am I think you will find the essential me here.
I was raised as a Reformed Jew. My family life was pretty much par for the course for most people in the seventies and eighties. Not as dramatic as some and not as lovely as others. I have had my trauma, and it was harsh, but I survived it and I have select family I am still close to. Others I have simply cut the cord with. I never connected with the name my parents tagged me with, it was not that I did not love them, or that I have no regard for my family, I do. And when I changed my name legally I took a great deal into consideration so that I kept certain ties intact. It was subtle but they are there. My present name is completely constructed by me. It is my name and it is my 'real' name. My background of origin has given me many things, it has given me a backbone, it has given me a love for truth, for ethics and for scholarship. It has given me the value of what family is and the desire never to sell myself or those I love short. And I will always fight for what I believe in. Always. My journey to where I am now has been long and arduous. I would not change it for the world.
When I first started on the path to practicing Heathenry, I had just divorced my ex-husband six months earlier. I had gone through a very turbulant time as far as living circumstance was concerned and was actually techincally homeless. It's not something I'm either proud or ashamed of. My ex tried for a period of about two months to pay on an apartment for me, but he ran out of money. It was not his fault. But it wasn't easy for anyone. I had briefly dated a Wiccan young man who introduced me to an owner of a now defunct pagan store here in Columbus, Ohio. But at the time it had just opened up. Aj did the best he could finding me people in the local pagan community to put me up for varied lengths of time in exchange for me cleaning their homes. I made money doing readings at his store. This was a really difficult time for me. One day I was trying to make money(waiting for readings that never manifested) and a gentleman came in to do a class on rune meditation. I decided to kill some time by attending. We concentrated on the rune Perthro. For me this would be lifechanging in many respects. He instructed us to concentrate on the rune as if it were burning itself into our heart. I did so... Apparently I did so too well I mainfested an actual burn in the shape of the rune over my heart. It kind of freaked people out a bit, myself included. I asked this man if he would let me study runes under him. After the class we went out to eat and I ended up moving in with him and studying runes with him and learning about Asatru. It was like an answer I didn't know I had been looking for. Amazing. Realize that up to that time I had been practicing Native Americanism and enjoying it greatly, I hadn't thought that I was looking for 'the next best thing' so to speak. I was not one of the lost souls on the path to whatever would be the balm to heal them. At any rate. I became thrilled by everything as it was presented to me it was like I had some kind of connection and it was terrific. I read Teutonic Religion, Teutonic Magic and all the Thorsson books besides. I was really enjoying it. I did run into a few people who were not thrilled that a Lithuanian Jew was practicing their folkway and told me as much, but I generally kept out of the mainstream community as a whole. I was in a supportive relationship with someone who was Heathen too so what did I care what other people thought? We didn't go to all Heathen events, we went to pagan oriented events. And that was fine with me. I didn't really bother with the umbrella organizations or anything along that lines for years to come. Eventually we tried our hand at founding a Kindred, that didn't work too well when the relationship went on the fritz but that happens. It is part of why I will never be part of a romantic relationship within any Kindred I am a member of to this day. Once I left the Kindred I was solitary which for me was very difficult, as Heathenry had always meant community to me, and as time went by I became more and more determined that I would be part of a group, because I became more and more depressed. Eventually I ended up going to a pagan Yule celebration out of desperation for community. Out of that I found out there was a Kindred in town that was looking for members. That made my year! I eventually applied and became a member of Great Ash Kindred. It was a wonderful fit for many years. Eventually we outgrew each other and I moved forward to found my own Kindred, Kindred of the Nine Worlds. This is where I am today. Part of the reason for this is that as I have grown in my studies I have become both more and less conservative over time. I'm sure you will wonder how it is that an individual can become both more and less conservative at the same time. As you read many of my articles I'm sure you will be able to see this progression within my world view.
One of the things that has seriously affected how I see the Heathen Community is my interaction at both Moots and in Umbrella Organizations. When I was simply interacting in Kindred environments or with individuals my worldview was very different from what it is now. Interacting with such a large number of opinionated individuals, some positive and some negative has taken me for a ride I never really expected. I have to say I'm not exactly sure if it has been for the best but it has been fascinating. I have written at least a bit on how I feel about Umbrella Organizations and most likely I will write more. I think that the best that can be said is they provide a large amount of interaction with which you can then take the information and spin it for positive change and growth if you are able or you can go into a tailspin and put yourself into a very negative headspace if that too is your wont. Moots are fantastic places for stimulation of body and mind. Spirit is given quite the hit. It's almost like being thrust into an environment beyond this dimension. I have enjoyed the ones I have attended but I have also had some sideffects from them that took quite a bit to recover from and even more time to interpret afterward. I think that a lot of personal growth was achieved however. Again you will most likely be reading about these experiences in some vein or another. When I could not commit to though. My story is rather varied, and I hope will have something to offer to a large variety of folk. So come in, sit down and listen to the storyteller spin her tales. Welcome one and all.